Before I Die

Tell me you love me
before i die
close my eyes
before i cry.

Touch my lips
and make me shy
hold me tight
before goodbye.

It's a full moon night
look at the sky
tell me you love me
before i die.

Tell me you love me
before i die
please say it sweetheart
be it a lie.

Fallen Angel

If I could, take a trip, to outer space
She would be the one, I will see
When I get, to heavens gate
She would welcome me with her arms, open wide, and a smile
Will shadow me brighter than the sun
She hasn't had a fair chance, so I'll give her one
Let me tell you who she is, yeah


She's a fallen angel, sent from heaven up above
She's a fallen angel, waitin for me to love her, yeah
(Know that she's) She's a fallen angel, take your judgment off her
I know, that she's a fallen angel


You know, I should
Help her mend, her broken wings
So she can fly again
But I don't, wanna lose everything that I've gained
Turnin me a selfish man (oh)
Cause without em my heart just don't go, no more (no more)
I couldn't take the pain, from watchin her fly away
So say that you'll stay
She's mine


She's a fallen angel, (ooh) sent from heaven up above
She's a fallen angel, waitin for me to love her, yeah
(Know that she's) She's a fallen angel, so take your judgment off her
I know, that she's a fallen angel


Don't you
Baby don't you (don't you worry) worry
I'm gon help you (I'm gon help you ) fly
(I'm gon help you fly)
Just take me under yo (take me under) wings,
And we can reach the (we can reach the) sky
(we can reach the sky)
Baby don't you (don't you worry) worry,
I'm gon help you (I'm gon help you ) fly
(I'm gon help you fly)
Yo mama, don't you (take me under) worry
you gon reach the (we can reach the) sky
(we can reach the sky)
She's a...


She's a fallen angel, (hey hey) sent from heaven up above, just for me
She's a fallen angel, waitin for me to wrap my heart around her, know
(Know that she's) She's a fallen angel, makin due with all the judgment (no)
I know, that she's (yeah) a fallen angel (ooh ahh)


Baby I know
I know that they done hurt you
But I'm here
Let's take it all away
So if you let me...
You know what, just put your heart in my hands
And everything they say, I take it back
Like this...




You don't mean nothing,
I don't want ya,
I don't need ya,
Never loved ya,
You're nobody,
And 'll never make it,
You're a mistake (ooh)

Glow in the dark

Been thinking about this all damn day
Ohh wow
And i can't wait to see your face, hmmm oh.
My hands are dying to touch you, oh whoa,
But i ain’t got the patience to wait.
And i think itÂ’s time, that i,
Lose control, Lose control.
And in my mind,
I’m, sexual, sexual (Oh)


Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for us? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
To glow in the dark? (ready)


Ohh nono nooo,
Its ok to scream,
And if you need too, take a second to breathe (sssss ahh)
Hey there it is,
I can feel your legs, trembling.
You feel the sweat dripping from my chest,
And then you’re like oh oh oh, Baby don’t stop.
And i’ll be like no i wont, imma take you to the top.

[chorus]
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for us? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
To glow in the dark? (ready)


Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for us? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
Are you ready for love? (ready)
Girl are you ready, (ready)
To glow in the dark? (ready)

Shhhh.

Her lip is trembling and her face is losing color. Her beautiful blue eyes are building up with tears. She catches my eye and try's to hide her feelings with a smile. But i can tell her smile is fake. The faint sound of her heartbeat calls my name. Someone once broke it and took all the pieces. I go numb.

I dont belive in true love

A LITTLE GIRL NEVER KNEW LOVE UNTIL A BOY BROKE HER HEART



dreadful heartache
breaking off
no more tomorrow
feelings like never before
over power you
no mistakes, no second chances
changing minds
with that comes tears
and pain and misery
no forgiveness
no more luck
broken memories
faded pictures
depressed, desire, death
love, lust, beautiful lies
make it worse
all alone
stuck in a white room
can't breathe
and all i can do is
suffocate
in peace

Staten Island

I just realized today, that living in staten island, might have been a mistake. Gosh, actually I do really LOVE this place. I can call it my home. What I mean is staten island is filled with pot heads. More than half of my school does pot. I could really careless but some are my friends, and I don't like seeing them the way they are. But you are messing up your own lives. One day you'll be SO wasted it won't be funny. I live above the influence. I don't do pot. Never will. That's a promise. Every time I go through the woods to get somewhere, I am always asked if I want some. I am like NO.

Also, I can live with the sluts. Eh, who cares about that. Honestly, whatever about them. Mind your business if they don't do anything to you.

Dear Somebody,

Dear Somebody,
When you read this, I probably won't be where I wrote this. I am just giving up here and moving on to find my place. Moving on to meet the people I have always wanted to know. I don't care if I am going to be looked for. I don't belong at home. If my walls could talk you would know everything I went through. Everything I felt. Everything that past. You would understand why I had to move on. I was pushed to go. Everyone at home saw it coming, but never knew when. Now they know. Here I am leaving my past. My old life. My old soul. Please take care of it, and teach it the right things. My new life is moving on with my body. I will know how to care for it. I will know my right from my wrong. Maybe I will never find my place. Maybe this is stupid. Maybe I would have to find this and take back my old life. But that would be a whole new adventure finding who has this letter. Maybe I will go searching for this. If I get nowhere I might!
Please never let your parents make decisions for you. Once you turn 13/14 you have to start over powering them. But do it slowly. Part of my leaving was because I over powered. Okay, maybe I messed up and this is my fault. It probably is. I am not denying that. But now I can finally get a hold of myself. I can finally turn over a new leaf.


P.S.- You will know when I am coming to find this letter. My old soul will fill you in. I am sure.

Anyway Kisses,
ALICE

Nightmares- Freak

I am in a freak show. Everyone is circling my cage and pointing and laughing. I am just sitting in the middle of the cage with the light on me. My make-up is running down. I am being tortured. People are screaming FREAKS SHOULD BE KILLED. All I can do it watch. All the other freaks, await their turn. No one can stand it. Seeing those people laugh right at your face for being born the way you are. -GAY!

Enough

It is really hard to find the perfect guy.
I just can't explain how stupid those people are for saying "I LOVE YOU" to someone you have been going out with after a few days. I only understand if you are for real.

Drama.
I'll be celebrating tonight.
Dance with me all night.
Doesn't matter who or what.
Screw the messed up shit.
Have a nice choice of words.
CRUNCK!
Experience thrill, and anxiety.
Pop it.
Show it.
Move it.
Hoping for it to happen.
Respond.

Nightmares- Cut

My nightmares continue. They continue in the day. I woke up at 5 today because of my nightmares. On top I had a science exam so I tried to fall asleep. It didn't work. And then today in school I had them again. Except this time far worse.

I am walking outside at about 7 p.m. I hear a car pull up and I don't think it is for me. I casually turn and see many people dressed up in team suits pointing at me. I don't know what to think so I stand there dumbfounded. Then I remember they are out to get my for my mistakes. I have know time to do anything. Before the people run up to me, I see KID on the same sidewalk looking at me. He waves hi and I scream help me. By the time he runs up to me, the men are all around me. They grab my hands and feet and I start to scream and kick. KID runs up to them and starts to ask what is going on. KID is just as troubled as I am. KID is this guy who I like A LOT. Words can't even describe.

I am taken away to some jail and KID gets in the car. When I am put in jail I KID and I start talking, and I tell him how much I like him. Blah Blah... then I am tortured. I have to watch KID be killed in front of me.

Nightmares- No Fear

I started having nightmares. I can't go to sleep without waking up at exactly 4:45. After I wake up I can no longer go back to sleep. I lose myself. I have a fear that if I go back to sleep my dream will continue. Or worse, it could start from the beginning again. I can't control myself in my dreams. I feel every move. Everything. When I wake up I can't blink. I feel that my dreams will come true. I feel someone is in my room.

Now maybe I am losing it. Going mad, going crazy. Maybe its one of those silly, gay dreams that will go away in a few days. But I think it's a message. A message I don't quite get. A message that I need to figure out.

It's like someone took over my body. Someone who wants me gone. No name, no words, no nothing. Like I never existed. Someone who wants me dead.

My dream begins with me running. My legs are about to give out. My vision is blurred. I'd say it's somewhere in the middle of the night. I don't know where to go. I can't continue running. But I push myself. I don't know where to turn so I keep running straight. People fill my mind and now I can't breathe. I start thinking about HIM and his words to me. I keep thinking about the way HIS eyes twinkle and the way they shine. HIS smile. HIS hands. HIS heart. By this time I reach a dead end. There are no lights, but I can feel someone's presence. I can hear them breathing. I have nothing else to do, so I stop and turn around. I face my fears.
I don't get a chance to see my killer. I don't even know what they felt like. I do know that they were cold. I don't remember if there was a gun shot. Or was it a simple knife. About a few seconds after I turn, my life is taken from me. I didn't have time to scream. It only took a second. A second to take down a life.
And the I am slowly floating as if nothing happened.
As if no one ever touched me.
As if I wasn't in a nightmare.

Sadness

Alice knows what there is to know.
Can't pretend much either.
Hides way to much from her parents.
Expresses her feelings.
Can't lie, into someone's eyes.
Feels pain.
Says music about 6 million times a day.
Has addictions.
Will fuck you up.
Wishes.
Hopes.
Dreams.
Is in love with EMINEM!!!
Can't leave, but wants to.
Has feelings beyond your imagination.
Has ******* packed into her bag.
Is ready to go.
Hates being to late.
Vacation.
Swings.
Can't do that.
Or this.
Hates to sneeze.
Likes way too many things.
Is not sleepy at all!
Has those people.
Has these people too.
Just blanked out for a minute.
Reads the wrong things.
Hears the wrong things.
Has peeves.
And wants to punch people, when they piss me off.
Can't relax when told to.
Likes shapes.
And animals.
TIGERS.
HEARTS
FUCK ALL THE ABOVE AND LEAVE THE LAST WORD:
MUSIC----- BITCHES!

Living The Moment - (Day 1)

I don't get why people make stupid decisions. I really don't. (This is just one point.) What I mean is that, people think that school is worthless, and that you get nothing from it. As much as I would LOVE to think school is worthless, it isn't. I dread waking up in the morning. I hate homework. But I suck it up, and continue on. You can have a fun life and go to school. I am getting off the topic, but anyway, it all starts in 8th grade where you try smoking or pot, or drinks, drugs, anything like that. You think it is "cool" to get high. You think that the first thing you got to do it lose your virginity. You think you need a boyfriend in 8th grade. You probably think you,ll be called a loser if you don't do this. SO you end up coping the people.
YOU ARE A LOSER WHEN YOU DO THAT.
If you can't even hand in one homework in 8th grade, when will you be able. You say you that you don't care, or you'll never need homework in life. Okay, I see where you are coming from, but can't you take out about an hour of your day. I understand failing tests, but homework, come one. Easy hundred!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Where will you get in life, if you end up not finishing high school? No where. By high school, you'll be getting high at some park. Then when you are 50 or 60 or 70 you'll realize then you made a terrible mistake.

IDK

I really don't know anymore. My world is somehow upside down now. I can't fix it. I started shutting my mouth at the wrong times. I don't lie, and it's straight out the truth. I just can't anymore. I keep letting the wrong people down. I am getting involved in the wrong things. Everything is falling apart and I can't seem to find the pieces. I don't know what I want anymore. I can't afford to mess up others live because of mine. I need to somehow left go.

Not that my life is falling apart. I am! I am falling apart. I need to make decisions, and everyone is dropping theirs on mine. This can't go on. I am growing in a hole now. It is getting deeper and deeper. I don't know if I can pull through any longer.

I can't stop thinking about something. I would love to write THIS WORD on a paper and give it to the something.

I also stopped watching tv. I don't know why. I stopped caring for a lot of things.

1. I stopped caring, except those I care for.
2. My mistakes.
3. My anger.
I let my anger out when I need to. I scream when I need to. I do everything when I need to.

Poor kid.- Cassie, you know.
If only he knew. <3