The day I left the womb

Mother, where are you today?
You took a piece of me the day you went away.
No recollection nor the smell of your perfume;
I took a piece of you the day I left the womb.

Brother, put your needles down.
The best thing for you is to leave this awful town.
Pretty soon, you'll have kids to feed.
If you see mother, tell her I can sing.

Please don't worry, I am doing fine.
You're much to busy to even find the time.
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave;
The boys you left are men you didn't raise.

And Daddy, how are you today?
You must be proud of the boys that you have raised.
Your withered heart, and everything it's seen,
Your cuts and calloused hands, you had kids to feed.
You had kids to feed.

Please don't worry, I am doing fine.
You're much to busy, to even find the time.
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave;
The boys you left are men you didn't raise.

Nothings going to change

It seems that everyone has moved on this summer and got NEW friends. And you know what so did I. But if you find a best friend you know she will be there with you 24/7 the think and thin and no fights. A true best friend doesn't try to get the most attention. And she/he is with them everyday!!!

I love you LISA, CASSIE, MIKE, TJ....and everyone one else who continues. ;D

Love always remains

there's a place I'd like to go somewhere out west,
it's not specific, and the pictures show it best.
I know there's trees I know there's sand and I know there's grass,
I know it's somewhere in the past.
There's a girl out there who's lookin for it too,
she's not sure when she'll go or exactly what she'll do.
If i am doomed am I the first on or the last?
Am I just someone from the past?

No one has to hear, the sound of people laughing at their fear, and the ocean and sun are always there, to make you happy if you're feeling scared of the darkness.

If I ever saw a ghost it'd change the way I think.
I wouldn't gasp for air if ever I did sink.
I wouldn't struggle, I'd just let it all out fast,
and then start living in the past.

If we hold the hand that rapes the hand,
and everyone can feel the hand,
and nothing's gonna change,
it could be the time we're living in,
we'll never feel so safe again,
but love always remains

When I think of the happiness

1. The happy have whole days, and those they choose. The unhappy have but hours, and those they lose.

2. Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

3. Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.

4. Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

5. We are who we are. We think what we think. We do what we do. No matter who tries to change that they want your happiness.

6. To be happy and to want to be happy are two different things. To be is happy all the way. To want to be is fake.

And thats the way everything ends

Everything has its rise and fall. Not everyone can be the best at everything. You will learn and see what it is that you are good at. And you will. Everyone has there place in the world. A book thought me this.

It's not all about love. Most of it is; to be with the one person you can live with. Thats not what I mean though. You chose your path, and you run it. Sure you may be unhappy with it but you made it that way. And sometimes you won't be able to fix that mistake so think twice before you do it. Always know that you have the same chance as everyone else. Just be smart and know how to face it. You can never escape your past, you can always put it behind you but it will never fade. It will haunt you, and it can kill you. Karma is a bitch. Remember that. You past is different from the future. Your future depends on you.

But right now I feel as if everything is going down the drain. But thats just my fault. I can't be at the top of my game always. And I am okay with that. You should be to. Don't worry if you screw up. You have to learn from your mistake.



"...But then it's not a perfect universe. You can't hang around waiting for somebody else to pull your strings. Destiny's what you make of it. You have to face whatever life throws at you. And if it throws more than you'd like, more than you think you can handle?
Well, then you have to find heroism within yourself and play out the hand you've been dealt. The universe never sets a challenge that can't be met. You just need to believe in yourself in order find the strength to face it. ..."
-Darren Shan

What is love?

Okay so people say it's to young to fall in love. No your wrong. I gave up hope last year looking for an amazing guy. I thought the world was filled with jerks. I was wrong.
Theres this amazing guy who actually cares about me and I know he will be there through the thick and thin with me. He is nice and chill and knows his rights from wrong. Maybe he can fix my screwed up mind and get me back on track.

What is love?
Its more than a feeling
Its actual love
I cant stop thinking
Whats about to be come
Living for him
Dying to find
The one lost love
Of my life

Thursday- Day 5

Song of the day: Memories by Kid Cudi
Motto of the day: I put my hands in the air.
Shirt color of the day: white

Wednesday- Day 4

Song of the day: Drop the world by Lil Wayne
Motto of the day:
*Cigarettes, 80 proof
*Take my picture, I'm so damn cute!
*Fake ID's, lots of cash
*Race that Benz, we go real fast
*2 a.m. and I'm still goin'
*Pour my drink, it's overflowin'!
*Take me home, rough me up
*No one's here so lets just fuck!
Shirt color of the day: yellow

Tuesday- Day 3

Song of the day: No other one by Taio Cruz
Motto of the day: Show up, act right, love forever.
Shirt color of the day: White with pink yellow purple and green stripes

Monday- Day 2

Song of the day: Kids by Mgmt
Motto of the day: Life is short fuck it up right
Shirt color of the day: Green

Who Am I?

I don't even know who I am anymore. I can only be who I am with my friends. But NOT my parents. I don't tell them much about me. It's as if I am slowly drifting away. It's as if, I don't even know them. I stopped sitting with my family at dinner time. But it's not like we can even have dinner as a family. My dad gets home at 9 and it's summer so I only get home around 12 or 1. And Saturdays and Sundays I basically push my parents away. I don't want to do this, it just happens. It's summer and I am on this REALLY BIG diet where I only eat a big breakfast, a very small lunch, and no dinner. AND I MUST EXERCISE! But thats not the point, it's bad enough that my parents don't see me in the morning because they leave at 8 and it's summer and I am still sleeping but I am not even home when they come home from work.

Sunday- Day 1

Song of the day: Fight for you by Morgan Page
Motto of the day: Chicks before dicks
Shirt color of the day: Blue











Meeting you here, the night’s alight with midnight cheer
Our dust still unsettled, I feel the plucking of our petals
I’m drawing circles don’t you know, protect the seed that wants to grow
To a garden, pardon my territory
Be friendly but cautious, you’re gonna have to count your losses
Easily attracted, but dangerous to get distracted
I’m drawing circles don’t you know, protect the seed that wants to grow
To a garden, pardon my territory
I’d fight for you
I never knew that I could feel this way
I’m right for you
This kinda love don’t happen everyday
I’d fight for you
I didn’t wanna have to raise my voice
I’m right for you
You really leave me with no choice
So what do you want and what are you thinking?
Isn’t it about time you stuck up for me?
But what you can’t see is we’re under siege
And I only fight because I believe
Not gonna share you no
I’d fight for you
I never knew that I could feel this way
I’m right for you
This kinda love don’t happen everyday
I’d fight for you
I didn’t wanna have to raise my voice
I’m right for you
You really leave me with no choice

Summer 2010

OH MY GOD!!!

So summer is finally here! I know it's been a while but it doesn't matter. I am spending my summer partying, having fun, AND doing what I want to do. It's July 4th, and I've already been to 5 parties and school ended June 28th. I have already managed to spend $4000. And MOST IMPORTANT: I got my mac! Actually thats not that important. I just had to put it out there!

I'm going to make this summer a bomb. I'm spending it with friends and when I have to with my family.

ahhh sweet summer <3